Only the wearer knows, where the shoe pinches

As the old saying goes, “Only the wearer knows, where the shoe pinches”, it fairly beautifully applies to the general attitude of people living in today’s society as well. The current society is plagued with innumerable problems ranging from lackluster attitude of civic authorities, to corrupt government officials to declining mental peace to eroding familial values to spreading terror in the society. But is anyone listening, is anyone bothered, does anybody have any time to devote to one of the problem areas that the society is facing and do something to at least create an awareness for it, if not make an attempt to solve it.

Everyone expects the garbage to be cleaned up by someone else conveniently ignoring certain basic facts that each one of us is, in some way or the other, responsible for the garbage. The society finds a very easy escape route of any problem that comes. There are basically three things that everyone in the society, in general, does to address a problem,

1) Ignore the problem,

2) Let the problem happen till a maxima is reached, and

3) Think that this problem is not going to hit me.

Unfortunately all the three approaches act as a positive catalyst in nourishing the monster that loves to devour the succor in the society. Pigmenting the core of problems with a plastic smile allows it to grow in isolation, assume an incurable form and steal nutrition from the same society that protects it like a parasite residing in a host.

Only those people are seen doing something to create awareness in the society, the ones who are badly smitten by some or the other problem in the society and even there the ratio of the total number of suffering people and those actually working to eradicate it maddeningly high. Only when the cornering and suffering grows beyond all tolerable levels within reasonable limits, do some people come forward to take the plunge into the dumping ground called ‘Society’ to cleanse it. Even then a majority of people think of suicide as a solution to end their problems.

One such reflection of incidences can be found in the alarmingly high number of suicides by married men of late. It is a well – known and an established fact that in any marital dispute the sentimental balance of the law, law – makers and law – executioners lies with the female partner as opposed to the male partner. With increasing number of false dowry harassment and domestic violence coming to forth and the number of divorces also rising alarmingly, it is no wonder that each year 56, 000 married men are committing suicides as opposed to 27, 000 married women.

The situation being so pathetic and despicable, yet do we see anyone doing anything about it. No. Even those who are affected by it want a quick fix and want others to do something about it. And those who are not affected by it have at most a few words of sympathy for them and nothing else. Save Indian Family Foundation, the largest and the only NGO in India, fighting for ‘Gender Equity’ and ‘Family Harmony’ receives over 200 distress calls from battered and shattered men all over India over its various help lines. But how many of them are ready to volunteer for a fight to eradicate this social evil of “Misuse of Women Protection Laws”. A discouragingly small number of a few hundreds.

More recently we had a spate of unfortunate and merciless terror attacks in the form of 8 low intensity serial blasts in Bangalore and 19 high intensity ones in Ahmadabad and 2 futile attempts in Surat. Analysis puts it as a total failure on part of the intelligence and surveillance agencies compounded with a condemnable low preparedness of the state governments in dealing with such situations. And these blasts are not something new. We had quite a number of them in the last few years be it Lucknow, Delhi or Malegaon. And yet such a big intelligence lapse!

But who is bothered? Everyone thinks as long as we are safe, nothing needs to be done. And truly no one will do anything either. People will discuss for a few days (perhaps I hope so, or maybe I am over – optimistic), media channels will run the stories for a few days, electronic and print media shall cover the event till they get something more sensational and then life will carry on as usual.

Even those terrorists who do this, know very well, that nothing is gonna happen and this fact is the largest confidence – booster for them. So this question goes to the society that be it the case of any problem, does it still want to wait till the lightning strikes it or is it ready to sensitize itself to sense over – impending social catastrophes and take steps to shatter its impact? Only the wearer should not know the pinch.

Marriage - The other side of the coin

Marital problems have started contributing to stress in a very big way. Day in and day out we hear people succumbing to marital problems with the growing numbers of suicides among married people especially males. As per suicide statistics provided by National Crime Records Bureau, for the years 2005 and 2006, close to 52, 000 and 56, 000 married men committed suicide respectively. And the same years noted a splurge in the number of dowry harassment cases filed as reflected in the number of such cases filed – 58319 and 63128. Coupled with that, if a study conducted by Center for Social Research on the conviction rate of such cases is anything to go by, it shockingly reveals that there is only 2 % conviction in such cases. This means 98 % of such cases are false, and thus a false claim of dowry harassment was made.

Not only that, based on that false statement, the husband and his entire family was arrested, put behind bars, made to cough out huge amounts to get a bail and had no choice but to fight a legal battle in an otherwise defunct and dead judicial outreach and was also subjected to malicious prosecution. For the charge of dowry harassment being false, the concocted stories of alleged torture would also bear no ground. Having thus said, section 498A IPC, being heavily misused has actually turned out into an assassin’s weapon rather a protector’s shield as rightly pointed out by the Honorable Supreme Court of India. Instead of making families, it is breaking families, for any woman who has falsely implicated her husband and in – laws in a false criminal case has lost their trust and the marriage has been dead for all practical purposes.

A recent study in Mumbai claimed 40 % of marriages registered in Mumbai end in a divorce. And most of such cases involve filing of a false dowry case in order to get a quick divorce with a hefty alimony. Unscrupulous girls, supported by ill – minded parents, especially mother, pampered by a biased legal system who is highly de – sensitized to husbands (read married men) have found this as a very easy way to earn tax – free money. And to add to that all of those so called marriages have been performed on some auspicious date / time in consultation with some purohit / pundit etc.

When marriages could last so strongly for ages down the memory lane, and those too were conducted on some auspicious date / time in consultation with some purohit / pundit etc., what has changed so drastically in recent times that marriages have become a source of business opportunity for women and a source of ignominy and stress for men? Save Indian Family Foundation, the single largest NGO committed to the cause of spreading the message of Gender Equity and Family Harmony in addition to providing free legal, moral and psychological support to the victims of false dowry harassment and Domestic Violence cases, receives on an average of 200 calls a week over its various help lines spread all over India and abroad as well from battered and harassed men who are either victims of the misuse of these laws or are subjected to Domestic Violence at the hands of their wives.

Have we come of the time to consult a lawyer rather than a pundit or a purohit to decide a marital knot? Especially a male does need to do so before tying the knot. For if the marriage does not work (which is quite possible in today’s dynamic socio – economic scenario), he will have to bear the brunt of the fallacy. A false case lodged with the help of the corrupt police force, sleeping judiciary and mercenary lawyers robs the man of his health, wealth, life, career and happiness. Even with a low conviction rate, the mental trauma that the man and his family including his mother and sisters and his father and other relatives undergo cannot be described in words and is by no means less than actual conviction.

But does life end there? Is the end of marriage, the end of life? Perhaps yes, but probably no. Looking at the alarmingly high and surprisingly suppressed suicide statistics of married males as mentioned in the first paragraph, it is probably true that for married males, end of marriage is end of life. But seeing the spirits of a few thousand volunteers at Save Indian Family Foundation, reality shifts. Here people have not only gathered strength to fight against the system and stride against the tide, but have also developed high amount of positivity in their life and learned to remain happy despite a despicable and pathetic married life.

Marriage can definitely be the first step towards family foundation but cannot substitute life itself. Life is too big and diverse and there are many things to be done in life than to waste it in crying over the split milk called a bad marriage. Like the volunteers at Save Indian Family Foundation has taken cudgels against not only the biased laws and their faulty implementation but also against the mindset that a woman will not break away from a marriage without justifiable reason. This is a bitter truth which the society needs to know, imbibe and live with it, till the time it refuses to change itself.

Open letter to the Indian Embassy

I would like to introduce myself as a member of Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF), an NGO in India, dedicated to the cause of spreading the message of Gender Equality, Family Harmony in India, in addition to giving free legal, moral and psychological advice to people who are caught on the wrong side of marital laws related to complaints of dowry harassment and Domestic Violence.

When I say, “to be caught on the wrong side” what I mean is to highlight the practice of implicating innocents falsely under these legal provisions and then harassing them, terrorizing them to make them accede to illegal demands.

IPC 498A The most draconian law highlights the major marketable features of this law. In short, under this law, any married woman can get her husband and in-laws behind bars at a mere complaint. No investigation is done in such cases and the police and the authorities behave in a totally one - sided manner to extort as much money as possible from innocent law abiding citizens.

As per a study conducted by the Center for Social Research there is only 2 % conviction in such cases and as such 98 % cases are false and are settled out of court after gross financial extortion of men and their families in the process taking advangtage of a defunct legal system and a corrupt executive environment.

Yet such draconian laws are existing and terrorizing citizens to the point of driving them to suicides. The suicide statistics for married men in the year 2005 and 2006 stand at 52, 000 and 56, 000 respectively whereas the same for married women stand at 26, 000 and 28, 000 respectively. More than double the number of men are committing suicides being exasperrated with a biased society and government.

This despite being the fact that men pay 82 % of taxes in India. But still they are yet to get a National Commission for Men and Men’s Welfare Ministry to redress their concerns. Men in India have no support system, no helpline to fall back upon in times of distress.

International studies world over have proved that both men and women have equal probability to be both victims and perpetrators of Domestic Violence, but still the Domestic Violence Act 2005, in India does not allow men to be complainants or women to be respondents. Only women can make a complaint and that too only against a man. How can such a stupidly drafted law be used to curb violence? It will only act as a catalyst for more violence to occur.

I do not expect any results out of this long email. My only intention is to create awareness about this grave miscarriage of justice going on in the name of WOMEN EMPOWERMENT in the country.

The Conveneient Male Victim Theory

Dr. Rajesh Talwar finally gets a bail and will soon be acquitted as well since the police have failed to produce / gather any motive for the murder let alone any evidence against him. Over a month of harassment of a father who lost his daughter and that too police interrogation. Will the police answer for the reason of apprehending Dr. Rajesh for the murder without doing proper homework and just succumbing to outblown media trials.

Sensation crazy and TRP hungry media channels were flashing the case like some detective murder story and put so much pressure on the authorities that they caught the father as per the “Convenient Male Victim Theory” and harassed him for so many days without reason without even allowing him to sink in the fact that his beloved daughter is no more and has been murdered at a tender age of 14.

After he was released on bail, the media was happy celebrating, forgetting the fact that it was the same media whose pressure had led the father to being harassed beyond limits and was also made to take the blame of his daughter’s murder upon him. He was projected as a villain in the media ab initio and the media was projecting him in a very bad light even before either the motive of the murder was established or any evidence found against him, the media had already reconstructed the event – folding and flashed it across.

This was highly demeaning of national media acting in a highly immature manner just to gather publicity and riding on its convenient male victim theory. When no clear motive / evidence were available, catch hold of the nearest male relative of the murdered and frame a story to explain their conclusions. Now the media is happily flashing the bail news of Dr. Rajesh, and also showing the three actual accused, what accountability it will take to justify the harassment Dr. Talwar underwent.

If Dr. Talwar had committed the crime, why would he do it in his own house staying inside? Everyone ignored this simple question and happily believed the father to be the murderer of his own daughter. For how long will the males in society in general, and Indian society in particular, continue to live in suspicion? Suspicion of committing a crime, suspicion of having done something gravely wrong for being subjected to injustice, suspicion of breaking a relationship.

Do the society, the media and the government consider males as human beings having some basic rights? Every year 80, 000 males are committing suicide as per suicide statistics provided by National Crime Records Bureau, yet males in this country do not have a single helpline to fall back upon in case of a crisis, let alone a National Commission for Men or a Men’s Welfare Ministry to redress their grievances. This dismal state of males continues to exist irrespective of the fact that males contribute to 82 % of the taxes paid in the country.

Who will restore the lost pride, integrity and moments of togetherness with his wife Nupur Talwar when they had lost their child? The media had even finished the trial based on what they seemed to have happened and also showed mock interrogation sessions. Is this some kind of a joke that the media is playing. The media needs to sensitize itself highly in dealing with matters concerned with males. Males are just treated as criminals in the media for no fault of theirs. Aarushi had the Women and Child Development minister Renuka Choudhary speaking for her, but who spoke for Dr. Rajesh? None.

The convenient male victim theory needs to be dropped. In the whole episode, the invisible victim, Hemraj was conveniently forgotten just because he was a male.

Once again the civil society and the government are urged to look into the issues faced by the men of today. How they are being made convenient scapegoats in blind compliance with the Convenient Male Victim Theory? This cornering is leading the society towards an impending catastrophe waiting to happen, the consequences of which will remain unforeseen, untold and perhaps unbearable.

Redefining Dowry Death

Another potshot taken by the National Commission of Women at the social fabric, after the horrendous proposition to include alimony for live – in partners and removal of the adultery clause as a ground to deny maintenance to wives. This time it is related to the issue of dowry deaths. Their suggestion is to include all unnatural causes of death of a married woman within any time frame of married life to be viewed and investigated as a dowry case.

This is a totally uncalled for proposition and a logical rationale fails to understand how a biased assumption can bring down a social evil. Unnatural death “is a category used by coroners and vital statistics specialists for classifying all human deaths not properly describable as death by natural causes. Hence it would include events such as accident, execution, misadventure (being attacked by insects, reptiles, fishes, lions, tigers, bears, stingrays, or other wild animals), adverse outcome of surgery, suicide, terrorism, war.”

Classifying all these deaths as dowry deaths within 7 years of marriage is in itself absurd. To top on it, now a totally mindless amendment to remove the 7 years ceiling is not becoming of National Commission of Women, a body claiming to be the champion of women’s causes. Such propositions only lead to unnecessary bloating of statistics related to crime against women and create aggravated panic in the society for women. No one will want to have a daughter fearing that she might be killed for dowry and this false fear is giving rise to female foeticide and infanticide in the society.

Moreover IPC already has sections to deal with murder, IPC 302, abetment of suicide, IPC 306. There is no need to provide a special section to married women when the same is not available to men. Every year 56, 000 married men are committing suicide, but those 56, 000 husband killers are roaming freely in the society. IPC 304B related to dowry deaths cannot be entrusted to be generating the correct and dependable statistics of the menace called dowry because the law itself is biased and based on assumption. It assumes all deaths of a married woman within 7 years of marriage as ‘Dowry Death’. Classifying all deaths as dowry deaths is nothing but an attempt by radical organizations like NCW to create fear in the society by blowing out of proportions the statistics related to crime against women as these outblown statistics fetch them money from national and international organizations.

It will be a grave injustice to the husband and his family to book them under dowry harassment charges and put them under legal prosecution when he has just lost his life partner to an accident. Most of the suicides by married women for various reasons are just linked to a single cause of dowry and a bloated picture is presented to the society by the money hungry radical organizations like NCW who fail to recognize the mothers and sisters of men as women.

Is the pain of a mother / sister less when her son / brother dies than when her daughter / sister dies? NCW needs to answer this question. Who is going to give justice to those 56, 000 aggrieved mothers / sisters who lost their son / brother to a torturous wife? Yet the wife is roaming freely in the society. Why no punishment to the wife when on the death of the wife (due to any reason) the husband and his whole family put behind bars on a mere assumption that the death is dowry related.

Why this injustice to men? Do they not have basic human rights? 82 % of taxes are paid by men and yet no their no welfare ministry for them. And to add to that, men are subjected to heavy misuse of stringent legal provisions targeted against them like IPC 304B which deprives them of basic right of being proclaimed innocent until proven guilty as prescribed by Amnesty International, the International Human Rights Organization. There have been instances of men and their relatives prosecuted under 304B (Dowry Death) and the girl has been found living with some other man. Who will account for the harassment that the innocent husband and his relatives went through because of a biased legal provision and a defunct legal system? And the girl is not even punished!!!

It’s high time that radical and gender obsessed women’s organizations stop spreading lies in the society in the name of crime against women and stop breaking families in the name of women empowerment. We, Save Indian Family Foundation, an organization dedicated to the cause of spreading family harmony and awareness about the misuse of dowry related and other marital laws severely condemn the recent amendments proposed by NCW and make the following recommendations to the government.

1) Section 304(B) should not be retained in the law; IPC Section 302 already covers murder and IPC Section 306 covers abetment of suicide, and therefore Section 304(B) is only a duplication of law, which is gender-biased.

2) All cases of murder, including murder for dowry should be dealt with under IPC Section 302.

3) All cases of abetment of suicide, including those allegedly done for dowry, should be dealt with under IPC Section 306.

4) If IPC Section 304(B) is not removed from Indian law, then it should be amended and made applicable to men and women equally. Specifically, the word “husband/wife” should be replaced by the word spouse.

5) Section 304(B) treats the accused as guilty until proven innocent, thus, violating the Universal Declaration of Human Rights which proclaims that “everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty”. The law needs to be amended so that no arrests of any of the accused (man, woman or child) are made without proper investigation and written approval of police officials of the rank of DCP or above.

6) Those who misuse the section for settling personal scores should be heavily penalized because false allegations and prosecution can cause irreparable damage to the accused parties even if they are later declared not guilty.

Males Non - males and females

All the characters in the blog are imaginary and have no resemblance to any person living or dead. Any co – incidence is purely co – incidental.

Kamini is married to Sanjeev keeping in mind his hi – paying job and the fact that his sister Natasha is married, their ancestral property, so post marriage she will be reaping all the benefits and will be able to repay her father’s losses. But things go awry as she finds it difficult to tame Sanjeev and decides to threaten him with a false dowry case to extort money from them in conjunction with her parents.

They set the setting with the local Circle Inspector (henceforth referred to as CI) and decide to teach Sanjeev, his parents and his married sister and her husband, a lesson. Police calls all of them to the police station and harasses them unnecessarily.

CI: “We have received a complaint of dowry harassment against you all by your daughter – in – law Kamini. So we will have to arrest you as per the law.”

Sanjeev: “But this is a false complaint, officer.”

Sanjeev was unable to comprehend the situation, as to why a false allegation has been leveled against him.

CI: “That will be decided by the court, as per law I have to arrest you till your bail happens. But if you listen to what she says, she is ready to take back the complaint.”

Now everyone is clear, that Kamini and her parents are trying to get upper hand in the marriage by fear and terrorizing them misusing the law meant to protect women and the police is hand in gloves with them.

Sanjeev: “But officer, we have evidences to prove them false here itself, there is no need to register a case for this. Give us a chance to present them.”

CI: “So now you are going to teach me legal procedure. We are not supposed to do any investigation. We have to convert the complaint to FIR and book all of you in the dowry harassment case and arrest all of you. Otherwise listen to what your wife says.”

Sanjeev’s mother spoke up now.

Mom: “But officer, my son is innocent and these laws are meant to protect females. How can you arrest us on mere complaint?”

CI: “I don’t know all that. For me the complainant is a female whom I have to protect. The complaint is against a male and other relatives are non – males for me. So I have to arrest all those males and non – males who are harassing this innocent female.”

Kamini’s in – laws try a lot to convince the CI that they are innocent but to no avail. Being innocent they refuse to cough up Kamini’s extortion demand. Thus, the 3 males (Sanjeev, his father and his brother –in – law) and the 2 non – males (his mom and Sister Natasha) are arrested on the female Kamini’s false complaint.

Strange but true. This is what happens in most of the police stations when a complaint of dowry harassment is received. One female wreaks havoc on all and sundry in the family, small children, senior citizens, pregnant sisters and yet the government is turning a blind eye to this Legal Terrorism simply playing it down saying they are doing all this to protect women and the misuse is very low to realize some political vendetta best known to them.

Whom does the WCD consider as women?

To,

Ms. Renuka Chaudhary,

Minister, Government of India,
Ministry of Women and Child Development,
Shastri Bhavan `A’ Wing,
Dr. Rajendra Prasad Road,
New Delhi-110001

Sub: Amendments to CrPC 125 recommended by NCW promote adultery and extortion

Honorable Minister,

We, the members of All India Forgotten Women, are appalled by the recent recommendations forwarded by the National Commission for Women (NCW) to the Ministry of Women and Child Development on the amendments sought in Section 125 of CrPC.

CrPC 125 is a Criminal Section which is biased towards women. Under this section, any legally married woman who cannot sustain life on her own can legally claim maintenance from the husband, while an impoverished husband cannot claim maintenance from his gainfully-employed wife. It is a well-known fact that a large proportion of women who are well educated, employed or qualified enough to find gainful employment are approaching courts to demand maintenance from the husband. Such women also simultaneously entangle the husband in false criminal cases under Section 498A and Dowry Prohibition Act. They also use civil provisions like the Domestic Violence Act and Section 24 of Hindu Marriage Act (in addition to CrPC 125) to demand maintenance from the husband.

Various media reports indicate that NCW is pushing for providing maintenance not only to legally wedded/separated/divorced wives but also to female live-in partners. Another major amendment sought by NCW in Section 125 of CrPC is that ‘adultery should no longer be a ground for denying maintenance to a woman’. We feel that these recommendations are extremely sinister and ill-conceived. Through this letter we explain why the above recommendations of NCW should not be accepted, and also propose amendments that promote gender equality.

A live-in relationship, unlike marriage, is not a legally binding contract. Women (and men) who enter live-in relationships are implicitly accepting the risk of a break-up, whatever the reasons for the break-up may be. Live-in relationship is, in fact, the preferred arrangement for men and women who wish to avoid legal formalities governing their union, separation or the relationship therein. Forcing legal interference into a relationship that is legally invalid is simply ridiculous. Even if one were to condone legalization of live-in relationships, the idea of protecting the interests of just the female live-in partner, and leaving the male partner in the lurch, open to economic abuse, betrays the anti-male sentiments of radical groups like NCW. By providing maintenance to female live-in partners, NCW would only be encouraging unscrupulous women to enter into relationships, break-up at will and extort money from the male partner. Given that the length of a legally valid live-in relationship has not been defined by NCW, a woman who has shared just one night with a man can technically claim maintenance from him. Therefore, whether the legal amendment recommended by NCW is a tool of women’s empowerment or a tool of legalized extortion is a moot question.

Committing adultery amounts to criminal breach of trust and violation of the social sanctity and legal contract of marriage. Adultery should be considered an offence whether it is committed by a man or woman, and equal penalty should be imposed on the erring spouse irrespective of gender. Earlier, NCW shot down proposals for amending Section 497 which suggested that women should be prosecuted for adultery. NCW categorically stated that adulterous women were “hapless victims”, while it considered adulterous men as criminals deserving to be prosecuted. It is shameful that NCW is now recommending amendments to CrPC 125 to convert it into an extortion tool and to award maintenance to adulterous women, in the name of women’s empowerment.

Many men have been forced to pay maintenance to undeserving women merely based on the assumption of perpetual victimhood of women promoted by organizations like NCW. Men who fail to pay maintenance for any reason risk going to jail and even losing the property they own. While scores of wives use existing laws to treat husbands as free ATM machines, NCW is now pushing for new provisions so that women who are not legally married, as well as women who violated the legal contract of marriage by committing adultery, can exploit male partners financially.

As fellow women, we feel that enjoying a parasitic life by siphoning money away from an estranged husband or partner is merely extortion in broad daylight and definitely not a sign of women’s empowerment. If anything, NCW’s idea of women’s empowerment is demeaning to hard-working, self-respecting and individualistic women. By supporting unscrupulous women and providing them more tools for misuse of law NCW is harming many families. Before pushing for anymore deceitful provisions claiming to empower women, NCW should think of ways to provide justice to the 1,20,645 innocent mothers and sisters arrested and tormented in the last four years under false complaints of cruelty and dowry harassment. If NCW were genuinely interested in welfare of women, it must strive to stop future arrests of innocent mothers and sisters.

We, the members of All India Forgotten Women, hereby, condemn the recommendations to CrPC 125 made by NCW. These recommendations are not only an insult to truly empowered women, but also a serious threat to the well-being of our beloved fathers, sons, brothers and male colleagues. Recommendations of NCW, which encourage adultery and live-in relationships, are also a good recipe for destruction of family and creation of a fatherless society.

We, therefore, request lawmakers to amend the CrPC 125 as under:

1. The word men/women should be replaced by the word person; the word husband/wife should be replaced by the word spouse.
2. No maintenance should be awarded to a spouse who is educated, employed or qualified to find gainful employment.
3. The phrase “living in adultery” should be replaced by the word “living or lived in adultery”, and the person who indulged in adultery should not be entitled to any maintenance from his/her spouse, as adultery is nothing but criminal breach of trust.
4. If a person files for maintenance under CrPC 125, he/she should not be allowed to file for maintenance under Section 24 of Hindu Marriage Act or Domestic Violence Act.
5. A maximum limit on monthly maintenance should be fixed and very strictly enforced irrespective of the gender of the spouse claiming maintenance.

We hope that you will take our recommendations and suggestions into serious consideration and promote justice and fairness irrespective of gender.

Thanking you.

Yours Sincerely,

Uma Challa

President

All India Forgotten Women

Please click on the link below for pdf version!

The Obituary of an e - suicider

All the characters in the blog are Imaginary and bear no resemblance with any character living or dead. Any resemblance is purely co – incidental.

Rajesh is a hard – working NRI who is being viewed as a juicy catch for extorting money by embroiling him in false cases of dowry harassment. If he vows to fight against them, he will have to finish off his career abroad and come back to India. If he does not decide to fight, he will be continued to be harassed, economically, socially, legally, and spiritually as the girls’ side in tandem with the police, the lawyers and the judiciary view him as a FREE ATM MACHINE and are out to ruin him in the name of Women Empowerment.

Enter Save Indian Family Foundation, a group of dedicated citizens who are committed to the cause of awakening the sleeping society, media, government and law makers to realize the evils of radical feminism. The most peculiar thing about this group is that they offer free advice on how to combat this ongoing Legal Terrorism. So Rajesh contacts the group over the internet and posts his confusion, whether he should pay or fight.

Rajesh: “What do you guys suggest, they are asking 10 lacs should I pay and get rid of?”

Vrujesh (Conservative Member): “No, do not think on lines of paying. You will be ruined more.”

Abhijat (Liberal Member): “Pay and get rid man, 10 lacs is just 2 months salary for you. And then enjoy life. Ignore these witches.”

Vrujesh: “Abhijat, if you do not know how to suggest people or find it difficult to comprehend the gravity of the situation, JUST SHUT UP.”

Sarkar (Stricter Conservative): “56, 000 men are committing suicide. What have you done for them? This legal terrorism is not going to stop like this. People like you indirectly support the spread of misuse.”

Abhijat: “Hey what are you talking? I am not wrong. There is no point in fighting against this misuse and wasting your life. People those who do not have any work to do will participate in such activity.”

Vrujesh: “Abhijat, don’t create a mess here. People come to us for genuine advice; if that is hard for you to give, simply shut your mouth up.”

Rajesh: “Guys please calm down; I am not going to pay.”

Sarkar: “Dear Abhijat, you look to me like some feminist.”

Abhijat: “You guys think you own the movement. You don’t know my links; I will abolish your movement.”

Mythical (Mysterious character): “Dear, SIFF is a movement. It is in everyone’s heart. If you think abolishing this group you can stop the movement, go ahead.”

Vrujesh: “Eh, hello, Mr. Abhijat, who do you think you are? Let me tell the group about your history. Some months ago you were the one trying to brainwash people that 498a will not happen if there is true love etc. etc. Then you came up with the bullshit idea of appointing lawyers for SIFF and extort money there. Having thus failed you are now brainwashing people into paying. By the way how is your life going on with your new mistress, with whom you have started staying without taking divorce from your first wife? You give a wrong advice next time and it won’t take us long before banning you from the group.”

Satwinder (Conservatively Liberal): “Dear Abhijat, why did you marry without taking divorce?”

Abhijat: “Group, I am sorry for causing the nuisance. Vrujesh, Sarkar, I am sorry.”

NeerKamal (Liberally Conservative): “Chill guys, all have their opinions. At least now we have a good discussion on this. Please stop this mudslinging.”

Discussion ends, and another quasi – feminist quasi metro – sexual commits, what is becoming a trend these days, e – suicide. That is a virtual suicide. A suicide of thoughts. A vagabond of ideas, not knowing where to present them and how to present them and trying to convince people with a seemingly tempting but morally empty idea and then failing miserably.

Whether Abhijat had done intentionally or not is best known to him only, but he has lost all credibility on this forum. In future even if he gives sincere advice, by mistake, he will viewed with suspicion as he has suggested what most money mongers suggest when a man is made a scapegoat of radical feminism by slapping him with false cases.

This post was an obituary of the e – suicider. Let us pay him our homage, by not moving our mouse for 2 minutes, neither touching the keyboard, nor navigating away from this page. Let us pay Abhijat’s e – soul an e – silence.

All India Forgotten Women questions WCD Ministry

To,
Ms. Renuka Chaudhary,
Minister, Government of India,
Ministry of Women and Child Development,
Shastri Bhavan `A’ Wing,
Dr. Rajendra Prasad Road,
New Delhi-110001

Sub: Presentation of our views in continuation of the 25/06/08 Round Table Conference
Honorable Minister,

I am writing to express regret that representatives of All India Forgotten Women, a leading
organization working in the field of family harmony, were not invited for the historic round
table conference held at the India Islamic Centre, New Delhi on 25th June, 2008.
I will appreciate it if you could please give us the opportunity to meet with you and present
our recommendations and suggestions regarding laws pertaining to women.
Awaiting a positive response from your end.
Yours sincerely,
Uma Challa
President
All India Forgotten Women

Don't be a wife, Live-in and extort

National Commission of Women (NCW), recently proposed an amendment of Section 125 CrPC to include women involved in live – in relationships to be eligible for alimony from their live –in partners. This proposed amendment has far reaching consequences, which it is evident that the champion of women’s causes, National Commission of Women seemed to have conveniently ignored.

Granting women involved in live – in relationships a right to claim alimony is a direct insult of the most sacrosanct social institution, marriage, as in India, a marriage is a solemnized vow to support each other through thick and thin taken in the presence of community elders and with their blessings, but, in contrast, a live – in relationship is initiated by the couple just as a means to stay together. But unlike marriage, the commitment factor in a live – in relationship is very low as the ties are very easy to break. There are no liabilities involved from either side.

But giving women an extra and added advantage over men in a live – in relationship is by no means becoming of a national body like NCW. It will be highly immature on their part to assume that all relationships end due to men’s fault and hence they should be made to pay for the same in the form of alimony. After totally lopsided and stringent provisions under the anti – dowry provision, which are misused to the tune of 98 % as provided by the 2 % conviction rate in 498A cases as per National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data, which has killed the institution of marriage silently, it seems it is now the turn of live – in relationships.

What the logical rationale fails to understand is how any person having the slightest of common sense can draft any provision on the basis of a generalized statement that all men are criminals and all women are truthfully innocent. When there is a provision to extract money legally, why will a woman not initiate a live – in relationship, break it at will and then harass the man for whole life. As it is the concept of live – in relationship has not come of its age in the Indian society and will also not come as Indian societal scenario is hundred times more complex than western society which is being beautifully attempted to be aped here.

And what do we expect the next step? To legalize children born out of such relationships and promulgate the concept of fatherless society wherein any couple starts living together, parts at will and leaves the children in lurch. Such children will have deep psychological scars rendering them very vulnerable to the possibility of turning into criminals with a multiplicity factor of 9 – 10. Rather than inviting women to start relationships and end them to earn tax – free money without doing any work, the NCW needs to condemn the very idea of live – in relationships and women should not get any sops so that they are discouraged to refrain from entering the wedlock.

Also a proposed amendment in the Immoral Trafficking Act, advocates the concept of addressing prostitutes as victims. It is highly demeaning on part of the agencies championing themselves as women activists to project women as victims always and keep on giving them protection at the cost of men. Today’s women are capable of multi – tasking and are no longer living under financial slavery. Provisions allowing women to claim maintenance under the aegis of a failed relationship either need to be scrapped altogether or at least amended to make them gender neutral (thus allowing men also to lodge complaints to redress their grievances) and include severe and stringent punishments for filing false cases.

It is quite logical that when the woman knows that she will get money only on leveling allegations, she cannot be expected to sacrifice and compromise to make the relation work. It will only be the poor man who will have to keep giving in to keep the woman happy so that she does not lodge a complaint against him and the day he refuses to do so, the woman will feel ‘hurt’ and seek damages in the form of alimony as proposed by NCW. Such a provision can never ensure long lasting relationships.

The following are the proposed amendments to ensure proper justice to all and sundry:-

1) To begin with all monetary provisions need to be removed completely. Either the complainant or the defendant needs to be punished with imprisonment. If allegations are proved to be true the defendant goes to jail and if proved to be false the complainant goes to jail for an equal term for causing unnecessary harassment, torture and defamation to the defendant.

2) Secondly judgments and legal provisions need to completely gender – unbiased and based on merits and application of mind.

3) Thirdly, replace all words like man / woman, husband / wife with person and spouse respectively.

4) No alimony for earning spouses or having a capability to earn and that needs to be determined from the qualification of the petitioner.

Promulgating promiscuous women by allowing them alimony from live – in partners is just another name of Legal Prostitution as now a woman can claim a lifelong alimony by even spending one night with a man (as a prostitute) and such measures need to be severely condemned in a civilized society and the penalties need to be shared by both the partners as both of them were mature adults when the relationship was started and the decision was mutual.

The shadow of doubt in a biased system is permanent as the veil of darkness remains forever. When a man is aware that stringent legal provisions are present to penalize him on harassing a woman, he will not do it on a prima facie basis. And when a woman very well knows that her allegations and tears are going to get her free money, it is highly unlikely that she is going to level true and realistic allegations. And moreover, it takes two to clap. No relationship can be single handedly initiated and ended by a man. The woman is equal partner to every phase of the relation and thus should be made an equal partner in the brunt of the fallacy as well, if unfortunately the relation does not work.

Poor law promotes Domestic Violence

National Commission of Women (NCW), recently proposed an amendment of Section 125 CrPC to include women involved in live – in relationships to be eligible for alimony from their live –in partners. This proposed amendment has far reaching consequences, which it is evident that the champion of women’s causes, National Commission of Women seemed to have conveniently ignored.
Granting women involved in live – in relationships a right to claim alimony is a direct insult of the most sacrosanct social institution, marriage, as in India, a marriage is a solemnized vow to support each other through thick and thin taken in the presence of community elders and with their blessings, but, in contrast, a live – in relationship is initiated by the couple just as a means to stay together. But unlike marriage, the commitment factor in a live – in relationship is very low as the ties are very easy to break. There are no liabilities involved from either side.
But giving women an extra and added advantage over men in a live – in relationship is by no means becoming of a national body like NCW. It will be highly immature on their part to assume that all relationships end due to men’s fault and hence they should be made to pay for the same in the form of alimony. After totally lopsided and stringent provisions under the anti – dowry provision, which are misused to the tune of 98 % as provided by the 2 % conviction rate in 498A cases as per National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data, which has killed the institution of marriage silently, it seems it is now the turn of live – in relationships.
What the logical rationale fails to understand is how any person having the slightest of common sense can draft any provision on the basis of a generalized statement that all men are criminals and all women are truthfully innocent. When there is a provision to extract money legally, why will a woman not initiate a live – in relationship, break it at will and then harass the man for whole life. As it is the concept of live – in relationship has not come of its age in the Indian society and will also not come as Indian societal scenario is hundred times more complex than western society which is being beautifully attempted to be aped here.
And what do we expect the next step? To legalize children born out of such relationships and promulgate the concept of fatherless society wherein any couple starts living together, parts at will and leaves the children in lurch. Such children will have deep psychological scars rendering them very vulnerable to the possibility of turning into criminals with a multiplicity factor of 9 – 10. Rather than inviting women to start relationships and end them to earn tax – free money without doing any work, the NCW needs to condemn the very idea of live – in relationships and women should not get any sops so that they are discouraged to refrain from entering the wedlock.
Also a proposed amendment in the Immoral Trafficking Act, advocates the concept of addressing prostitutes as victims. It is highly demeaning on part of the agencies championing themselves as women activists to project women as victims always and keep on giving them protection at the cost of men. Today’s women are capable of multi – tasking and are no longer living under financial slavery. Provisions allowing women to claim maintenance under the aegis of a failed relationship either need to be scrapped altogether or at least amended to make them gender neutral (thus allowing men also to lodge complaints to redress their grievances) and include severe and stringent punishments for filing false cases.
It is quite logical that when the woman knows that she will get money only on leveling allegations, she cannot be expected to sacrifice and compromise to make the relation work. It will only be the poor man who will have to keep giving in to keep the woman happy so that she does not lodge a complaint against him and the day he refuses to do so, the woman will feel ‘hurt’ and seek damages in the form of alimony as proposed by NCW. Such a provision can never ensure long lasting relationships.
The following are the proposed amendments to ensure proper justice to all and sundry:-
1) To begin with all monetary provisions need to be removed completely. Either the complainant or the defendant needs to be punished with imprisonment. If allegations are proved to be true the defendant goes to jail and if proved to be false the complainant goes to jail for an equal term for causing unnecessary harassment, torture and defamation to the defendant.
2) Secondly judgments and legal provisions need to completely gender – unbiased and based on merits and application of mind.
3) Thirdly, replace all words like man / woman, husband / wife with person and spouse respectively.
4) No alimony for earning spouses or having a capability to earn and that needs to be determined from the qualification of the petitioner.
Promulgating promiscuous women by allowing them alimony from live – in partners is just another name of Legal Prostitution as now a woman can claim a lifelong alimony by even spending one night with a man (as a prostitute) and such measures need to be severely condemned in a civilized society and the penalties need to be shared by both the partners as both of them were mature adults when the relationship was started and the decision was mutual.
The shadow of doubt in a biased system is permanent as the veil of darkness remains forever. When a man is aware that stringent legal provisions are present to penalize him on harassing a woman, he will not do it on a prima facie basis. And when a woman very well knows that her allegations and tears are going to get her free money, it is highly unlikely that she is going to level true and realistic allegations. And moreover, it takes two to clap. No relationship can be single handedly initiated and ended by a man. The woman is equal partner to every phase of the relation and thus should be made an equal partner in the brunt of the fallacy as well, if unfortunately the relation does not work.